I
make no promises that ANY of these are "work safe" for sure
(in fact most probably aren't
Got something good to add?
Email
me:Egocentricman
AOL
IM me: EgocentricMan17
Here's a autographed polaroid of me and Mick F'n Foley!
(You'll note the cheesy grin and thumbs up, it was required, as someone was holding a tazer gun to my ass.)
Also
visit:
For STRICTLY Indy Wrestling ONLY links..
My
Live Journal
The
Best Page in The Universe (Maddox)
NFOrce
Entertainment
Doom9.net
FXP
links page
Proxy
WinGate SOCKS Tutorial
s
p a c e a l i z e r - server path converter for warez and divx
boards
10
digit decimal IP Addresses and Other IP Related Lookups.
Net
Knowledge Base
ASTALAVISTA
SECURITY GROUP
Grims
Ping v1.7.4
BitDefender
AntiVirus - Data Security, AntiVirus Software, Free Protection
Da
Bonnasses Page.
Kazaa
Lite (fileshare program - no spyware shit)
playboy.com's
ultimate breast test
mIRC-X
- The ultimate mIRC and MP3 search resource!
Ass
Hunter flash game
He-Man
Ate My Balls!!
Grimace
Ate My Balls
FARK.com
- random site of the moment
Homestar
Runner - retarded cartoons
Flash
Your Rack
[iSONEWS]
2
cool pc
B.E.E.R.
Wrestling
Bonsai
Kitten - cat bady modification
Celebrity
Directory
G.L.O.R.Y.
Wrestling The Hardest Working In Indy Wrestling
Internation
Wrestling Cartel
NWA
East (PWX) Wrestling
Indy
Insider Newsletter
Shirley
Doe.com
Harold
Potter's Site (Indy referee)
Joey
Knight's homepage
Krazy
Keith's (almost complete)ATE MY BALLS Links Page
Liberty
Championship Wrestling
The
jet powered beer cooler
'The
Fabulous Firebird' Phoenix
SHOT30
Official Fansite!
The
Sync Internet Broadcasting
The
Ambiguously Gay Duo
T2X
Shadows of the Metal Age (fan made Thief 2 expansion pack)
indy
wrestling messageboard
Sublime
Directory - porn at its freeist
Spankshed
- Sublime Directory's archives
GameFAQs
G4TV
- TV for Gamers
IMDb
Internet Movie Database
[Lacey-Chabert.net]
Bruce
Campbell Online - Ash from Evil Dead
FiringSquad:
Home of the Hardcore Gamer
Sharky
Extreme - PC hardware reviews
Fansy
THE FAMOUS BARD
NewEgg.com
-- Online Computer Parts, Peripherals, Components, and
Accessories
Price
Watch ® - Street Price Search Engine
DivX
Digest - Software
Saturday
Morning Cartoon movie [DIRECT
LINK]
CTG
Tinkering Recipes - EverQuest
Alienware
The Ultimate Gaming Machine
CYBERPOWER
PC
Mac Hall
Comics
TweakXP.com
- Hundreds of Tweaks, Visual Styles, and Software Reviews for
Microsoft Windows XP
Papa
Smurf Can I Lick Your Butt? [DIRECT
LINK]
The
Constipation Song
StupidVideos.com
Dancing
George Bush
Chamo's
'The Godly List of Links'
[
Dirty-Proverbs.com - The Proverb Archive ]
Steakandcheese.com
(random everything)
Something
Awful.com
Penny
Arcade (webcomic)
moviecomics.com
8-Bit
Theater (webcomic that rocks!)
G.L.O.R.Y.
Wrestling The Hardest Working In Indy Wrestling
AIM+
Program homepage (good AIM program)
Ladies
of 'The Evil Dead' movies.. great collection of links
Da
Bonasses Page (hot chicks, real chicks)
T-Shirt
Hell
JTM's
Indy Wrestling Show Reviews
Sexual
Harrasment's Homepage
Justin
Idol
"The
Spotlight" Scottie Gash
Dean
Radford (the f'n man) - COMING SOON
Eric
Xstacy's Solo Home page.. Cause that bastard JT dun turned on him
- CUMING SOON
Yeti
T-Shirt
Westeros
The 'A Song of Ice and Fire'
Robin
Hobb's site (Farseer trilogy, Tawny Man, Liveship Traders
George
R.R. Martin (A Song of Ice and Fire series)
Wierd
and Funny shockwave, watch it!!
Pearls
2 - Rough Logic Game
UGO's
Actress Archive
Open
Office (a free M$ Office type program)
Spiderman
WILL make you gay!
ROCnet
(Renee O'Connor site, Gabrielle from the show Xena...
GOD is she hot)
American
Jedi
ASCII Character Movies
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
here
seen
my corpse
memory
album
sinzan
ghoul
lord revenge
fuzzlecutter
mission:
godzilla
here
here
here
here
here
DORM LIFE
The inventor of dormitories . .
. let's find him, and make him pay for the
travesties he's visited
on America's youth, and force him to listen to
Yanni. Can't you
see him designing these hellish stacks of humanity many
years ago?
From the sidewalk he raised his hands triumphantly and said,
"It
shall be like the projects with less violence and more
marijuana!"
He then took lumber and Elmer's Paste, as it is
written, to create these
pet carrier sized rooms that we live in.
You wanna know why people
from the projects hardly ever go to
college?
It's because they don't want to leave their lush
surroundings.
The actual term dormitory is of course derived from
the Latin term for
sleep, which is appropriate because that is all
you have space to do. You
have to do it standing up in the
bathroom sink but it can be done.
The luckier students have space
to scratch their asses but the windows have
to be open and their
roommates have to be gone for the weekend.
When you go home the
closets even feel like a gymnasium, and you can romp
around in the
bathroom like a horny antelope. I can't imagine the kids who
brought
everything they own, like a sectional couch, to the dorm. I
brought
like a condom and a sock. Next semester I hope to have a
towel and the
other sock. I also need a new condom. Forget having
space to sleep. Who
sleeps anyway? Nobody on my campus. I think
it's a rule. This one kid
tried but no one knows what happened to
him. Let's just say his floormates
never saw him awake again. I
feel like I'm a member of the national
insomnia coalition. 0ur
agenda involves a lot of Frappacino and staring at
the test
pattern on tv. It's like this strange pseudo-vampire lifestyle.
Did
you know that if you stay up late enough they play the Tonight
Show
over again and it still isn't funny?
No sleep really
fucks with your eating habits too. Every night at 2 in the
morning
you get as hungry as a Bosnian and you have to go to the
vending
machine to watch the one bagel spin in the carousel of
salmonella.
People have White Zombie playing until 5 AM, which to
me really encompasses
my mood at 5AM. I could be listening to
Kenny G and it would seem hardcore
at 5 in the morning. It doesn't
matter because you
still can't get an open clothes drier minutes
before sunrise.
There's like this one chick who's always tying up
an entire drier with one
pair of panties. I let it slide because
it gives me an opportunity to
watch hypnotically tumbling panties.
The worst is when 'she' turns out to
be that ugly guy from down
the hall and you have to vomit in your laundry
basket. Not that
the dryers work anyway. I could fart on my laundry and
get it
drier than the converted toaster ovens that the university
supplies.
Dry jeans? Forget about it. I had to convert mine to a
deep-sea wet suit.
So what if you want to leave the dorm? Get
ready for a chore. You'll need
keys, ID, bag, books, a map, an
umbrella, sun glasses, insulin, a snake
bite kit, mace, a pack
mule, and an Algonquin Indian translator (if you go
to Miami you
know what this means). Walking through the building kissing
the
asses of all the dweebs you live with and holding the door for
anyone
in the same county. What's with the door holding policy?
Like opening a
door requires a spotter. If you've got arms, a
coordinated foot, or a
useful nub, open your own damn door. No
matter where you go you have to
use these gerbil-on-a-wheel
elevators. I could climb up the side of the building with
a corpse
tied to my johnson in less time than it takes for the
door to
close. Then you have to march for miles from your dorm which
is
conveniently placed on the fucking opposite side of the campus
from any
building that is remotely important. People on
rollerblades I accept,
people on bikes I have urges to clothesline
but tolerate, but people on
skateboards have a value just below
medically retarded nazis. It must be
explained to them that
skateboards were cool when we were 11 and even then
they weren't
that cool. Where are you headed? Probably to get something to eat at
the dining hall.
The only dish they haven't fucked up is Lucky
Charms. I think the
university supplies them with a blender and
unlimited horse meat mixed with
some retired circus animals. The
key to making the menu fresh and exciting
is the food coloring.
The charming and buck-toothed lunch ladies proudly
announce,
"Yesterday we had chicken nuggets and today we present to
you
blue chicken chunks that are totally unrelated to the nugget
dish we served
you just yesterday. We are serious, they have
nothing to do with each
other. I stake my hair net on it. You can
have extra blue in yours." And
the ladies(who really seem to
love working in the exciting scooping
career) refuse to serve more
than what fits on a toothpick. You can't
just ask for a large
portion, you have to ask for "more than the offensive
line
could consume this semester." Then you get a second blue
nugget.
Remember how excited the potato bar got you the first
week? Now the potato bar makes you homicidal.
(What are bacon
flavored bits made of?)
Then you get to come home to your
room. Mine is called a suite, which is a
pretty cruel manipulation
of the English language. I get to
spend time with the closet case
that the boarding office apparently found
compatible with me. He's
like Chewbacca's considerably less attractive
estranged midget
cousin. A wookie also has better control of the English
language.
My roommate is another rant all together. Most people get one
of
two kinds of roommates, the one who sharpens knives while he watches
you
sleep (mine), and the one who asks you what it's like to go
outside (also mine).
My suite mates next door live an intensely
Rastafarian lifestyle. In an
attempt to put Cheech and Chong to
shame, their bong is a centerpiece of
the room that they clean
with wadded textbook pages. They smoke to Bob
Marley at 3AM on
Wednesday nights which is a little too hardcore but you
have to
love their dedication to the sport.
End your dorm day by hopping
in the shower. It's as big as a tupperware
container. It has 3
temperatures, fucking hot, really fucking hot,
and nuclear.
Whenever somebody flushes a toilet on the campus the
temperature
goes to skin removal levels and I go blind for a few
minutes. I
swear it is connected to every toilet. My brother flushed the
toilet
at home last week and I called him to tell him to be a little
more
considerate. The bathroom is as clean as any fast food
restaurant urinal and
after the average college student cleans the
shitter with a bottle of vodka
it's as clean as any bus station.
I've given up on cleaning the bathroom
and started disinfecting
myself. A quick spray down with Lysol Direct and
my body is fresh
and repellant to several kinds of bacteria.
Bottom line. Turn up
the music and try to get high off the fumes coming
from under the
bathroom door because they never share. The "best days of
your
life" will soon be over.
The End